Techniques for Listening to a Child Professionally and in Line with Life
- The Life Matters
- Jul 9
- 4 min read
09 July 2025
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This informal CPD article ‘Techniques for Listening to a Child Professionally and in Line with Life,' was provided by Mary Brockwell, founder of The Life Matters, a charity which was set up to help children and young adults who find themselves struggling to cope. They provide targeted care and support to schools and other organisations who have vulnerable children in their care.
Listening to a child is one of the most important acts an adult - whether a parent, teacher, counsellor, or caregiver can perform. Done well, it affirms the child’s worth, fosters trust, and supports healthy development. Professional listening, rooted in respect, patience, and empathy, allows the adult to hear not just the words, but also the emotions, fears, and hopes that lie beneath them. Here are several techniques to help you listen to a child both professionally and in a way that honours their life and developmental stage.
1. Create a Safe and Open Environment
Before any child will speak openly, they need to feel safe. This means providing a calm, non-judgmental space where the child feels accepted regardless of what they say. Sit at the child’s level to reduce power dynamics, and avoid distractions such as phones or other people entering the conversation. Your body language should say, “I am here, and I’m listening.”
2. Use Active Listening Skills
Active listening means giving your full attention and showing the child that what they say matters. Nod gently, maintain soft eye contact, and reflect back what they say: “It sounds like you were really upset when that happened.” This shows that you’re not only hearing their words but also trying to understand their experience.
3. Avoid Interrogation or Judgment
Children, especially those in distress, may speak slowly or struggle to find the right words. Resist the urge to jump in, correct, or rush them. Avoid judgmental language or reactions. Instead of saying, “Why would you do that?”, try, “Can you help me understand what was happening for you then?”
4. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues
Children often communicate just as much, if not more, through body language, tone, and behaviour. A slouched posture, clenched fists, or avoiding eye contact may indicate anxiety, shame, or fear. Reflect what you observe gently: “I noticed you looked down when you said that. Was it hard to talk about?”
5. Validate Feelings, Even When Setting Limits
Professionally listening to a child doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say, but it does mean acknowledging their feelings as real and important. “I understand that you’re angry because your toy was taken. It’s okay to feel upset. Let’s talk about what we can do next.” This balance helps children feel seen without removing boundaries or expectations.
6. Be Developmentally Attuned
Children of different ages communicate differently. A five-year-old may need more time and simpler words, while a teenager may want space before opening up. Adjust your listening and language to match their level of understanding and expression. Use play, drawing, or storytelling with younger children to help them express complex feelings.
7. Practice Patience and Presence
One of the greatest gifts you can give a child is your time. Professional listening isn’t about solving problems instantly. It’s about showing up, again and again, with openness. Sometimes the real message comes after a long silence or on the third conversation, not the first.
Conclusion
Listening to a child professionally and in line with a life-affirming approach means creating a space where their voice is respected and their inner world is taken seriously. When children feel heard, they learn that they matter and that’s the foundation of emotional resilience and healthy growth.
We hope this article was helpful. For more information from The Life Matters, please visit their CPD Member Directory page. Alternatively, you can go to the CPD Industry Hubs for more articles, courses and events relevant to your Continuing Professional Development requirements.
CPD Provider
The Life Matters
The Life Matters Charity was set up to help children and young adults who find themselves struggling to cope with everyday life, self-harming or even suicide. We found that there is a vital need for more services to provide targeted care and support to schools and other organisations who have vulnerable children in their care who need special attention We provide a service that helps children and young adults to overcome barriers and to support them towards a brighter future
CPD Courses by this Provider
A Child's Voice
A Child-led Self-harm and Suicide Prevention 10-week programme that can be used with supervision or semi-independently from the age 11 that has been designed to connect clinical research and social work practices for better futures aimed at children aged 8 to 18. The children / young people who participate in the programme learn about mental health and wellbeing. Parents, carers, social workers, teachers, and other professionals may also learn about the child. The topics covered will help the child to stay safe, promote resilience, self-confidence, and self-esteem in a fun way through experiments, activities, brain teasers, and interesting facts.
Designated Safeguarding Lead For All Professionals Working With Children
All professionals who work in the field of child protection are intended to take this course. The laws and regulations that must be followed in order for a designated safeguarding lead in any school will be covered in the course. Understanding statutory requirements, laws, and legislation will be beneficial to Early Help workers, Social Worker assistants, Social Workers, Nurses, Teachers, and any other professions who work with children. The workshop will determine the child's needs for safeguarding, provide assistance and direction with reporting concerns to the appropriate authorities, and emphasise the significance of safeguarding indicators.
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